Traces.ws - Understanding Depression

What is depression?

Depression is not a character flaw, or a psychosomatic complaint.

Severe depression is a medical condition which has been firmly established as such by modern science. Having depression does not indicate a weakness of character, any more than having malaria does.

When someone you care about is depressed, it is not because they are trying to blame you, or shock you, or hurt you, or get back at you. And if they seem angry, don’t take it personally. Self-loathing is characterized by moods and body language that are remarkably similar to the way someone might act when they are very angry at you.

Depression isn’t rational. It can make the world seem like a cruel parody of every mistake you have ever made. Depression can distort everything you see, twisting it into a humiliating example of your own worthlessness.

Be aware that there is a big difference between self-hate and self-pity. When someone you love is depressed, you can’t afford not to give them the benefit of the doubt regarding the sincerity of their feelings.

Never dismiss depression as irrationality, or self-pity. You never know when a little contempt might push someone over the edge.

When someone tells you that they are having suicidal feelings, they have done something incredibly difficult, something which has required all the courage, trust, and humility that they were able to summon.

Don’t act as if their desperation isn’t real. It is.

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S. Nees writings > depression back to menu
S. Nees writings > depression back to menu			Befrienders International works to prevent suicide worldwide, with 31,000 volunteers in over 40 countries. For a print-friendly version of this document, please click here document author: S. Nees This article may be reprinted or distributed for any noncommercial purpose. This is a personal page which is not affiliated with or endorsed by any crisis intervention agency. It is not intended as a subsitute for professional help.
		Note: This is not a poem or personal essay. I wrote it as a way of helping depressed persons more easily articulate their situation to a loved one. It is also intended as a tool to help clear up some of the misunderstanding and stigma surrounding depression. If you would like to create a printed version of this document (minus this commentary) please click here.

	What is depression? Depression is not a character flaw, or a psychosomatic complaint. Severe depression is a medical condition which has been firmly established as such by modern science. Having depression does not indicate a weakness of character, any more than having malaria does. When someone you care about is depressed, it is not because they are trying to blame you, or shock you, or hurt you, or get back at you. And if they seem angry, don’t take it personally. Self-loathing is characterized by moods and body language that are remarkably similar to the way someone might act when they are very angry at you. Depression isn’t rational. It can make the world seem like a cruel parody of every mistake you have ever made. Depression can distort everything you see, twisting it into a humiliating example of your own worthlessness. Be aware that there is a big difference between self-hate and self-pity. When someone you love is depressed, you can’t afford not to give them the benefit of the doubt regarding the sincerity of their feelings. Never dismiss depression as irrationality, or self-pity. You never know when a little contempt might push someone over the edge. When someone tells you that they are having suicidal feelings, they have done something incredibly difficult, something which has required all the courage, trust, and humility that they were able to summon. Don’t act as if their desperation isn’t real. It is. For a printable version of this article, click here. This article may be reprinted or distributed for any noncommercial purpose.